Weight Loss Update Week 1

Current Weight: 220.8

Weight lost this week: Not really sure...I know at least two pounds.

Total Weight Loss: I am not really sure on this one either. Last week I posted that I thought I weighed about 235...well I was obviously wrong! There is no way I lost 15 lbs! I am going to take a guess and say I weighed about 225. So I am going to go with a total weight loss of 4.2 lbs.

What I like: So far I like weight watchers. It takes a little bit a getting used to and I am still adjusting.

•  I really like that it tracks points and not calories. I am still trying to convince myself that I can eat things that are worth more then 2 pts. 
• Currently I am allowed 36 pts a day and 49 pts for the week. I love that I am allowed those extra points to use when I want. This week I used them this weekend because I wasn't at home very much. 
• I am eating healthier. WW is all about eating healthier so much so that most fruits and vegetables are zero points. 

What I don't like:

• The fact that I used like an extra 30 pts this weekend. I need to learn to space my extra points out.
• How long it took us to grocery shop last night. I know this will get better though. As Jason and I figure out what is good and what is bad it will be easier. (Jason is half way following weight watchers. He is eating whatever I make for dinner and trying to be better about is eating overall. He is also letting me buy all the low-fat stuff for the house)

All in all this has been a good week. I still haven't been exercising. I do want to get back into that. I am hoping Santa brings me a treadmill for Christmas so that working out is much easier!

My Weight Loss Journey

Up to this point my blog has been mainly about are struggles with conceiving. The blog has been a huge help with sorting through my thoughts so I thought why wouldn't it be a huge help with losing weight.

I have never been a small person....ever! I was a bigger child, a big teen and now a big adult. The smallest I ever was at an adult size was 170 lbs and that was the end of my senior year of high school. Jason and I have both put on a lot of weight since we met each other. With Jason I really think his problem came when he stopped playing football because he never stopped eating like he played football. I can blame mine one being in a stable relationship, my thyroid issue, my family background or whatever I want but the fact of the matter is I am just lazy! If I wasn't so lazy I could loose the weight.

I have proven to myself multiple times that I am capable. Over the last three years there has been three different occasions that I have lost 15 lbs or more. I always seem to put all the weight back on. I am currently 5 lbs down from the heaviest I have ever been. Every time I have lost weight it has been while I was counting calories. Makes sense right? Your body burns calories for energy. I think it is something like 3500 calories equals a pound. If you count out a significant amount then you are bound to lose weight. No matter how much sense it makes I can't seem to make myself do it. It will work for a few weeks and then I get tired of all the work. I can't afford to get lazy anymore.

The reason I have trouble conceiving is because I have PCOS. A majority of the women with PCOS have it because they are overweight. You would think after three years of struggling I would have put more effort into losing weight. Once again it comes back to being lazy.

This is my next big effort to stop being lazy and start doing the work. I joined Weight Watchers. I am hoping it is a temporary (about a year) aide. I think after awhile I will get the hang of what I should and shouldn't be eating, what will help me lose weight and what won't. I am also going to get back to running. I was doing it for a few weeks after we lost the baby out of the need to clear my head now I need to do it out of the need to get healthy.

Here comes the scary part....I am going to tell all of you (and the world) my current weight. My plan is to weigh myself every week and post a blog weekly about my progress. I need all of you to keep me honest. I will try to post regularly about my weight loss and how I am doing but if you see a lack of updates make sure you ask me about it. My goal is to lose 60 lbs. I am not putting a timeline on it because hopefully in the next few months we will be pregnant and that will obviously alter my progress but if I start getting healthy before baby and during the pregnancy then it will be much easier to get back on track after a pregnancy.

Here comes the scary part....I am going to tell all of you (and the world) my current weight. I weigh about 235 lbs. I don't know the exact because I haven't weighed myself in about two weeks but I don't travel far from that number usually a pound or two in either direction.

Here's to a big change in mine and Jason's lives (he doesn't really know it but he is going to lose weight too!)

Out of the woods...

...and moving on.

I got a call from my doctor today. My blood test came back and showed that my hormone levels were at a -1. She wanted them to be below 2. She said anything below a 0 means your body is not registering any pregnancy hormones at all.

That means that there is no remaining invasive cells in my body. I am still under observation for the next two months. I go back at the beginning of November and the beginning of December for blood work and as long as both of those come back good we can go back to Clomid and start trying again.

I was joking with a friend of mine today and told her that knowing Jason and I's luck we would get pregnant right away once we start trying again and end of up with football baby!

Thanks for all the prayers! Now we need prayers for patience. I think the next few months might be hard on us. Knowing now that I am ok and we have to just sit back and wait. It's like telling a kid that he has to wait a week to open the present you bought him!

One Month down....

two more to go.

I went to the doctor today for my 2nd of 4 rounds of blood work being done over a total of 3 months. The doctor is checking my pregnancy hormones to make sure that there are no cells left from the molar pregnancy.

My last blood work from a month ago my levels were at a 10. The doctor wants them to be return to normal which is below 2. She isn't concerned that they were at 10 yet. I was only two weeks post D&C and it take time for the body to adjust. I am not out of the woods yet but we will have a much clearer picture of where I am when my blood work comes back in a few days. I feel fine and I don't feel pregnant at all so I really do think all is good.

The last month has been a crazy roller coaster for us. I still get emotional when I think about everything or when I talk to someone about it. It's funny, there are some people I can talk to about it with no problem and there are some people that I can't talk to without crying and some people (my dad) that I can't talk to about it at all. I seem to be the most emotional when I am in the car by myself. I think its because I do nothing but think in the car.

We are into the full swing of school and football. We finished our 1st six weeks of school on Friday. Jason's team is now 3-2 on the season and 3-1 in district. They are in the heart of the playoff battle and the battle for 1st place. The team is looking great and I think it will only get better.

The last month it has been nice not having to worry about taking medicine and charting my temperature and trying to figure out if Jason is going to be home on the right night of the week for us to "bond". It's takes a huge stress off knowing that we will be through most of football season (because we are going deep in the playoffs) when the 3 months is up. With Jason being a varsity coach this year he has very little time for anything so it's nice to know that the time we have together is relaxing.

I am still sad that we have been through all we have but I would much rather go through all this now then to be much further along in my pregnancy or to lose a child after it is born. I read an article the other day about a professional baseball player who's son died the day after he was born. That player after a few days had to go back to work because his team was in the playoffs. He said that he told him self when he got on the mound (he is a pitcher) that he couldn't think about his son. He said once he got out there all he could think about was his son and knowing that he was looking down on him.

I can't even imagine going through that much pain. It might be selfish but I hope that all of the pain Jason and I have been through is because God is making sure that we get a beautiful and healthy baby in the end.

Why I blog...

Jason and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost three year now. It wasn't until about nine months ago that I decided to start writing about. I honestly have not written anything since my freshman year of college, so I apologize for all of grammar mistakes. I am still not sure what made me start to blog but here is the reason why I continue to do so.

I feel like my blog is always sad! While Jason and I's situation is pretty sad I started blogging because I wanted to get the word out there about infertility issues. I think it is really easy for people to not think twice about it for many reasons. One being that it is such a personal issue. Unless someone very close to you is going through it you really don't know much about it. Another reason being that you cannot see physical damage happening to someone with fertility issues. Everything that happens to our bodies happens on the inside psychically. Not to mention that the whole process is emotional and draining on a couple.

Since I started blogging I have learned about more people that I know that are facing similar issues. It is nice to know that there are people out there that I can talk to that understand what we are going through.

I also hope that I can reach people that don't have fertility issues to help you better understand what your friends and family might be going through. Just remember that if you know someone going through fertility issues that it is very hard in so many ways. Just be there for them. Tell them you love and you will do anything they need.

Blogging has been a great outlet for me to think through and explain my feelings. While I do that I am also, hopefully, teaching people about something they didn't know about. It has also been a great way to keep people that love Jason and I informed about what is going on. It is really hard to repeat twenty times all the problems we have had. This blog lets people know and I don't have to explain it over and over again. There are so many things going on in our world that we are oblivious to. I hope that I am helping open this up to people in some way. It makes me feel better to think that all of this sadness and pain that we are going through is not for nothing. I hope in some way I have helped someone.

Thank God for Cy-Ranch football

Did I really just say that!?!?! Just six weeks ago I was dreading football season. Six weeks ago I was also pregnant. A lot of things have changed.

Football has been the distraction that both Jason and I have needed to help deal with everything that has happened in the last three weeks. Jason stays busy with practice, planning, watching film and games. Since he is gone so much I stay busy taking care of everything else. Football games have been great (even though there have only been two and we are 0-2 on the season). They are a great distraction for a few hours a week.

As I sit here after a tough lose knowing that all of the coaches are still at least a good hour from going home I can't help but be grateful for football season. You may never hear it from me again but right now I want, scratch that I need this season to go on longer then the remaining 8 weeks of the regular season.

The other amazing thing about Cy-Ranch football is the staff and their families. Everyone has been so kind to us. A few have had the right words to say to me when I needed them. Most are just there to offer a smile and hug and ask how we are doing. Right now that means to world to me.

I know 90% of the staff won't see this but Thank You! Yall have no idea how much your support means to us. You may not even know that you are supporting us but you are.

Let's have a great season and beat the Falcon's next week!

And now we wait...

Today I had my check-up with my doctor. Before I saw her I was really expecting for her to say everything looks great and you can start trying for a baby again. At most I was expecting her to say lets wait a month before you go back on the meds. Well that isn't what I heard. Physically right now everything is ok. I have healed from my procedure.

Whenever a D&C is done pathology is done on the tissue that they remove from your body. This helps you and your doctor determine what caused the miscarriage so that if it is something preventable or something you can't avoid then you know. 20% of all pregnancies end in a miscarriage. A lot of women have them. To be honest as much timing as it takes to get pregnant and as many problems as there are I cannot believe how many teen pregnancies there are. But that is beside the point.

The pathology returned that I had a molar pregnancy. What that means is there was too much genetic material from either Jason or I. There are two types a complete molar pregnancy is when a sperm fertilizes an empty egg. A partial molar pregnancy is when two sperm fertilize an egg. So in the end a mass grows in your uterus but can never grow into a fetus.

Now for the scary part, even though I had the D&C there is no guarantee that all of the cells from the molar mass are gone. I have to go back for blood work once a month for the next three months. If there are still cells from the molar mass then my body will think it is pregnant and all the mass to grow. At this point it becomes  trophoblastic disease. There is a 20% chance that it can turn into that and a small chance that it can turn into cancer. If it grows back I will have to chemotherapy even if it never turns into cancer. The thing that scares me more then anything is what this will do to our chances to have a baby. I am also worried about the effect chemo will have on my daily life. Jason keeps telling me not to worry about it our be scared about something that we don't know about yet. My doctor took a pregnancy test today and it was negative which is good but if there are cells and they grow more then that might change.

Now for the sad part. Jason and I have to wait 3 months for the all clear to start trying again. On one hand after 3 years what is another 3 months and on the other hand after 3 years now we have to wait 3 more months.

I feel like Jason and I cannot catch a break. It is one thing after another after another with trying to have a baby. Jason and I are very lucky with the rest of our lives. Everything else is going great I just want this last thing to complete our lives. I keep reminding myself that God has a reason for all of this even if I am still not sure what it is.

We are asking for prayers over the new few months while we wait for the all clear. Thank you to all of you that have stood by us and helped us through this. We could not do it without yall!

Time heals all wounds....

....or so they say. Tomorrow will be two weeks since Jason and I found out we lost the baby. Even as I write this all I want to do is cry but it has gotten better. A big help for Jason and I both has been school and football. We have our first week of school done and our first football game under our belts. While the game was far from the outcome we wanted it was a nice distraction.

It has only been two weeks but Jason and I have learned a lot from the experience. While I have never doubted that Jason was the one for me this has more the proven that too me. Jason and I have been through a lot in our short 4 years of marriage; both of us being jobless for six months to being evicted from our rental home to spending 3 years of our marriage trying for a baby. Not to mention the crazy life that is being a football family. This whole thing has solidify to me that Jason is my one and only. I can't imagine going through the process with anyone else.

Jason has been an amazing husband and care taker for the last two weeks. He actually took some time off of football, which is unheard of, to take care of me after my procedure. Even with his crazy schedule he has made sure that things are being done around the house and that life is just a little bit easier for me.

I know for me the changes we have made in the last two weeks has nothing to do with me being depressed or sad or recovering from the D&C. The changes have been made because Jason and I have realized how short life is and how we have to take advantage of every minute we have.

I have been fortunate enough in my life that I have never had a major loss in my life. Three of my grandparents are still living (the one that is gone died when my mother was in high school), both of my parents are still alive and married, all of my aunts and uncles are still with us. You get the picture. I am so lucky to still have all of my important people with me. Losing the baby has been the hardest thing I have every go through. It has defiantly put a new perspective on life for me.

In the end time does heal all wounds. I will never forget the baby we lost but I do think I will be able to move on with my life. We have learned more from the little life in two weeks then I have learned in all of my 26+ years.

What to say and what not to say

This post is in no way a shoot at anyone or made out of anger. It simply is to inform people about what comments are irritating and what is helpful. This only pertains to anyone that has had no trouble having children or who have not tried yet. If you are on of the unfortunate few who face the same problems I do then you are more then welcome to say whatever you want.

What not to say I know it's hard but... The thing is you don't know so you can't say that. I know how you feel... Again something you don't really know. It will happen I know it... There is no grantee in life that I will have a child so you can't say that. Be patient... You be patient after two and a half years. We weren't really trying to get pregnant it just happened... While I am happy for you and would never wish my problems on you I dont need to be reminded about how fertile you are.

What to say I love you. I support you. I am here for you. I heard about this treatment... I am not an expert and I welcome any suggestions. I'm pregnant... People are afraid to tell me they are pregnant and it maybe because I come off as bitter but I promise I would rather hear from you then through a friend or Facebook. I may be sad for myself but I will be happy for you.

Every woman out there with fertility issues may not feel the same way I do. To be honest I personally only know one other person that is having fertility issues. I do not speak for everyone I only speak for me.

Time flies...

The last few months have flown by! The last time I blogged we were still in school, Jason had just finished up with basketball and my medicine was making me crazy. The end of school and the start of summer was so busy for both of us. It started with Jason's school's baseball team winning the State championship. It was really excited to travel and see all of their games. The excitement in the players eyes and the pride they had is why I became a teacher. We went to Nashville at the end of June for my students to compete at TSA nationals. We had a successful and fun trip. One of my students placed 8th in her event. It was a fun last hurrah with my seniors but I sure am going to miss them. The last time I blogged we still had not found the right dosage of Ned's to make we ovulate. Well right after that we did. I now take 200 mg of Clomid. Amazingly I have no side effects and I ovulate. This month is our third month in the correct dose. It will also be our last month with this form of treatment. If the clomid does not work this month we will be moving on to the next course of treatment. We still are not sure what that will be but I will keep everyone updated. Thanks for the continued thoughts and prayers.

I am over being crazy....

Life has been crazy in more then one way over the past month to month and halfish. Jason finished up basketball season, my kids had regional contest and then state contest (which I was in charge of for the entire state), my grandmother has had some medical issues and there were a few times there that we all thought we might not see her again. My grandmother is doing better now. We all got to see her at Easter and we aren't in the place were we are all afraid to get the call that she has passed.

Things have slowed down a little bit. We are in the last six weeks of school (yay for summer!). I had 5 students advance to Nationals in Nashville which will be fun but expensive so I have been stressing over the cost of that. Now onto the reason most of you read my blog....baby update.

So baby making has made me crazy also, in a my medicine has literally made me crazy kind of affect. Last month I was on 150 mg of Clomid. For those of you that have taken it that is 3 pills a day for 5 days. They start you out on 1 pill a day for 5 days. This time the medicine made me really depressed and put me in horrible no good very bad mood. That crazy thing is I knew what I was doing and I knew I wasn't myself but I couldn't do anything about it.

If anything good came out of this month we know almost for certain that I did not ovulate this month. There was not change whatsoever (is that suppose to be one word?) in my temperature. In the last two months I got sick and we did not know if my temperature spiked because I was sick or because I ovulated.

Now for the bad news. Obviously if I did not ovulate then I am not pregnant but I also did not start my period on my own. So it is kinda like going back to the beginning. This month my doctor has put me on Prometrium to start a period and 200 mg of Clomid.

I am thankful in one way that I did not start my period on my own. Jason and I were struggling with the decision on if we were going to take a break or not. By not having a period is delays the process by about 3-4 weeks. The decision was made for us to take a break and I am glad it was. We both needed it very much. On a funny note when I started the prometrium two nights ago Jason looked at me funny and asked "is that the medicine that makes you crazy". God bless him!

I am nervous about going ton 200 mg of Clomid. It is another 50 mg up from the last time. The last time I had such bad mental side effects that I am afraid of what it might do. I keep telling myself that each time I have taken it I have had different side effects except for being dizzy. I am holding on to the hope that I may not have the same side effects this time.

We have used clomid three times now. We have three more shots at it before we have to start looking at other options.

Getting to know my pharmacist

You know those commercials where people are talking about their pharmacists like ipthey are best friends? Well I have always thought they were weird. Who knows their pharmacist that well? Well apparently I do. The pharmacy tech now knows who I am and recognizes me. I guess going to the pharmacy every month does that. She is the best person I have ever dealt with at a pharmacy.

I was at the pharmacy getting my next prescription for Clomid. My doctor upped it by another 50 mg. She isn't sure I ovulated and she thinks it may have been late. We will give it another shot and see how it works this time. Jason was tested this month and my doctor says he has no problems that all of his numbers are great! YAY!

On the weight loss front I have lost 16 lbs since the first of the year. What is really nice is that I haven't been exercising. I know that will only get me so far but it's nice right now when life is a little crazy. All I have done is eat healthier mainly by cutting out fried foods. I also have stopped drinking cokes and when I do drink one it's a diet. Hopefully I can keep this up. I would be really happy losing another 20 lbs in the next three months.

Nope Still not pregnant...

So I have offically finished with my second month on Clomid and nope I am still not pregnant. Between google searches and talking with friends I think I may have ovulated but not sure and if I did I think it was much later then my doctor was expecting. I have an appointment scheduled to see her on the 1st.

My doctor sets aside certin appointment during the week for patients that she has to see monthly so that we can get in and not wait a month and half like everyone else. The only problem is that all of the appointment are during the day. Being a teacher this really sucks! I have to take a half day off of work just to go see her. Luckily this time I got an appointment at 2:45 so I just have to find a teacher in the building that is off 7th period that will cover the last 15 mins of my class so that I can hustle to the doctors office.

After talking with my doctor Jason and I will make the decision on weather or not we are going to take a month off of using Clomid. The last two months have been very stressful on both of us. We have both been sick and I think the stress has contributed to that. March will be a very stressful month for me already. My students will compete in their Regional and State competitions and on top of that I am state contest coordinator so it is my job to make sure it all gets done and runs smoothly. With all of that it may be hard for Jason and I to find the time to "bond" and I am afraid the stress will make it really hard on us to get pregnant. It is going to be a really hard decision for us to make but Jason and I will discuss that when the time comes and I know we will make the choice that is right for us.

This month has been draining of me. There are a lot of people that I know (mainly from Facebook) that are announcing they pregnant or that have had babies and while I am really happy for them it is tough to see that reminder on an almost daily basis.

We will go on from here and see what the doctor as to say.

Finances

Up to this point I have blogged about my weight and our fertility issues. Since I apparently feel the need to let the world in on our lives why not talk about our finances.

Jason and I have some where over $80,000 in debt (I calculated the exact numbers a few months ago) not including our house. Most of our debt comes from student loans. We pay some where around $750/month on student loans and on two teachers salaries we are on the ten year plan to pay it off. We have Jason's truck that we owe about 18K on and two credit cards we owe about 13k on.

Jason and I were not the smartest with our finances when we first got married which is why we have 13k in credit card debt. About a year avowed choose to start following the Dave Ramsey plan. If you haven't heard of it he says you should take cash out at each pay check for your expenses and then never touch your debit card. We were really good for a while and then stop doing it like we should. Dave Ramsey's other suggestion is to pay off your debts based on smallest to largest. The idea is that if you payoff your smallest first then you can roll that minimum payment into the next debt. It creates a snowball effect on your debts.

After we bought the house we sat down and decided that we had to get back on track with our finances. Since December we have followed our cash plan really well. We set up a plan to pay off all of our debts except the house in three years. Now this works only if nothing else happens like getting pregnant or having to fix the car. So our plan is to work and pay things off like nothing will happen and hopefully we can pay everything off in 3-5 years.

We haven't been able to pay off what we wanted up to this point because of medical bills and car bills but the positive thing is we have had about 2k in extra expenses in the last two months and have been able to pay them all with cash which is awesome! We were also able to pay my car off today with our tax return! That gives us an extra $260/month to pay on our other debts.

Updates on other things. Up to this point I have lost 8 lbs. things have been crazy so I haven't been working out like I should but I am losing weight just by eating healthier. My goal is to try and work out some more in the coming weeks.

On the baby front I have finished my second round of clomid. We are in our bonding time. Another 13 days and I can take a pregnancy test. Here is to hoping it works this time!

Good News...Sorta

I went to the doctor on Tuesday. I had to take a half day off school because her only open appointment all week was at 1:40 on Tuesday. Oh well I got an afternoon off I suppose.

So the whole point behind my appointment was that I was not pregnant after my first round of Clomid. After getting into the room the lady told me to undress. I told her I'm not here for a regular appointment an she said I know but she will do an exam for a clomid check. They should tell people that when you make your appointment. You have to prepare for those kind of things!

So after talking with the doctor and after she looked at all my blood work and test results she said everything points 100% to PCOS and she is confident tha I will get pregnant.

Other good news is that I started my period on my own on day 34! That means for the first time in my life (that I wasn't on birth control) my period was less than 35 days. My doctor says tha is a great sign that things a progressing and working the way they should.

She isn't 100% sure that I ovulated in my last period so she doubled my clomid dosage. The whole process this time will be quicker because I don't have to take the prometrium because I starte my period on my own so the whole process will only be a month instead of two! Woo Hoo!

Clomid Take Two

In a previous post I mentioned the I am taking clomid. Clomid is the first line of fertility treatment that most women do but it's not as simple as just taking a pill. First off I am already taking 3 pills everyday. I take levintroxin for my thyroid (every woman on my moms side of the family has a thyroid condition) every morning and I have to take it at least 20 mins before I eat breakfast or I get sick. If I take it too late in the morning it makes me tired. It took a while to figure out the perfect timing. I also take 1000 mg of glumetza (two 500 mg pills). I take the glumetza at night sometime between dinner and bed because it gives me an upset stomach. Glumetza is the fourth insulin medicine I have been on. It makes me the least sick of all.

Let me explain how clomid works. It is a nuero-blocker (pretty sure I spelled that wrong and not really even sure if that is a word) tha blocks the signal to your brain that tells you how much estrogen is in your body. By doing this your body produces more estrogen and in turns makes your ovaries ovulate.

The whole clomid process take any where from a month to two months roughly depending on your body. My fertility issues stem from PCOS so I don't have regular periods. Because of this I have to take Prometrium for ten days. At some point in those ten days or within two weeks after I take pill number 10 my period will start. That day counts as cycle day number 1. On cycle days number 5-9 I take a Clomid bill. Clomid cause your body to ovulate. On days 10-19 Jason and I "bond" every other day (Janelle and I termed it bonding because talking about sex in public is unacceptable and Janelle is my sound board for this whole process). After 10 days of "bonding" I take a pregnancy on day 25 and day 30.

Today is day 31 and I am not pregnant. I'll call my doctor on Monday and we will start the process all over again.

Jason and I have been trying for just over two years now and then has been the worst month of this whole process. Before this it was a crap shoot and we knew. We knew that I might get pregnant but we weren't expecting anything. This time it was different. This time we had a strong reason to believe that it might work. Last night was the first time in a long time that I have cried about this. I think I have been numb to my infertility but this process just threw it all in my face.

From my research clomid works in about 30% of people that take it but my doctor says it works really well in PCOS cases. Clomid causes some nasty side effects or so I have been told. The side effects are a lot like menopause. Due to this you always start out with a low dosage and they increase it as you go. Jason and Inhave discovered another side effect and it's not so much from clomid but just from trying to have a baby. Being forced to "bond" on a schedule is really hard. Jason's schedule makes things really hard. It is emotionally trying on a relationship.

So on Monday I will ca my doctor, make an appointment and we will take another shot at this.

Biggest Loser

So at the beginning of the semester my school started biggest loser. Rules are you pay $25 to join and then a $1 for every pound you gain.

Last year we did the same thing. I lost 12 lbs and kept it off. I don't expect to win because I won't go on some crazy diet. After the first week the person in the first place lost over 7.5% of her body weight. That's crazy! Anyways after the first week I lost 3 lbs which comes out to 1.29% lost. Like I said I don't expect to win but I have someone looking over my shoulder at my weight loss so it is some motivation.

I started by counting calories but I HATE that. I want to eat when I hungry so I am going to try doing it without counting calories and see how it works. I know what is healthy and what isn't. to help with to process I started kickboxing classes. I am actually really enjoying the class.

I was doing real well until this weekend. I had a meeting out of town and I am still trying to figure out how to eat healthy while I am out of town. We have also been dealing with some fertility stuff that hasn't been good news (more on that later) so I have been having a pitty party the last few days and not eating the best.

Here's to my goal weight loss of 40lbs

And Baby Makes Three...Someday

I mentioned in my last post that Jason and I had been trying for two years now to conceive. It's been a long and hard road for us. This is something that I never imagined I would have to deal with. It all started around Christmas time in 2009. Jason and I made the decision to stop preventing it. That is I got off my birth control but we didn't put in any extra effort to getting pregnant. It didn't take long for me to figure out something was wrong. After two months of no period I went to see a doctor. Turns out I have a condition called PCOS.

PCOS is the most common cause of infertility. It occurs mainly in women that are overweight (another reason to shed the extra pounds). What happens is my eggs never mature therefore I never ovulate. Since I never ovulate my periods are very sporadic. My body doesn't know what it needs to do. About two years ago I started to process with the doctors (I'm on doctor number three now).

The first doctor gave me meds to kinda restart my body. Her thinking was that I had been on birth control for five years that my body might need a reminder. That worked for about two months. At that point the doctor ran some test and determined that I had a low thyroid level and PCOS. I went on medication for both. The medication for PCOS in an insulin medicine. Not sure why but they say it works. The most common medicine is Metformin.

Not long after my diagnosis I got sick with H. Pylori which is a nasty bacterial infection in your stomach. After battling that for about a month I was over taking medicine and we took a break from trying. At some point in all of this my doctor left her practice and Jason and I moved to Katy.

When we moved I decided to find another doctor. She put me back on the insulin medicine. With her I tried four different medications before I found one that didn't make me so sick t was hard to function. Of course it happened to be the one that doesn't have a generic version. After six months of no success she upped my dosage to 1000 mg a day. To put it into perspective my aunt who is borderline diabetic takes 2 mg a day. So needless to say I take a lot. I was not real happy with what. H doctor was doing and I felt like if we waited six months again then Jason and I might give up so I switched doctors again.

Doctor number 3 delivered my god son and I really liked her bedside manner. When I met with her she already had a plan and I liked that! She told me that two years of medication was too long to have waited before we tried something new. It was really nice to have a doctor that was willing to try something and who was able to explain what was actually wrong with me in a way that I could understand. She also had me have a test done an HSG. I will spare you the details on exactly what they did but it was the most painful thing I have ever done in my life. Essentially they flushed all my lady organs out and took pictures to make sure everything is how it is suppose to be.

Our current fertility treatments started in December. I am taking Clomid which hopefully will get my body to ovulate. We are in the process of round one. You can do up to six rounds of clomid. If it doesn't work after six rounds they move onto to other things. We will see what happens with this. My doctor is confident that it will work. She told us not to get our hopes up on the first round but she doesn't see any reason why it won't work after that.

The whole process has been hard for us. A lot of the people around us are getting pregnant and I couldn't be happier for them but it just makes it even harder on us. I know I take it harder then Jason because I am the reason we haven't had a baby yet. He is very supportive and I couldn't have gone through all of this without him. He has a very positive attitude and I try my hardest to stay positive to.

Someday Jason and I will add to our family...hopefully that someday is soon.

Let's give this another shot...

Lets try this again….

This will be the 4th time or so that I have tried to start a blog. I always start it with good intentions but I think I get side tracked with my crazy busy life and easily forget about it. With the new year I decided to make some changes in my life. I don’t like to call the resolutions. I have never really been one to make new year’s resolutions. I am not sure what it is about the new year that makes people want to start fresh. What changes between December 31st and Jan 1st? I would think resolutions are better made on your birthday…you are getting a year older and presumably a year smarter and more mature.
With the end of 2011 came a big change for Jason and I. In October we were forced to move out of or rental home because it was being foreclosed on. WTH!!! Crazy right? Well out much better for us. We had to live with my parents for a month while we searched for a house. On a side note…all of this happened during football season which meant I had to pack the house and house search without Jason. It was pretty stressful but it all worked out in the end. We got a beautiful house in our price range that is only a little over a year old and has all of the upgrades. Life seems much easier now that we have our own house. I am not sure what the difference is between and the rental house but we both seem to be sleeping better and are in better moods. I will post pictures and more about the house later.
I have two goals this year…I don’t like to call them resolutions because those never seem to work out. These are really life style changes. What many people don’t know if that Jason and I have been trying to have a baby for about 2 years now. In December we started fertility treatments. My doctor is confident they will work. We shall see. I will post more about our journey and the fertility treatments later. So my first goal for the year is to get pregnant. I know there isn’t a whole like I can do about it. It will either happen or it won’t but Jason and I are doing everything we can to help the medicine along. My second goal for the year is to lose weight and not just a few pounds a significant amount…not all this year per say but I do want to make a big dent. Now if we achieve goal 1 then goal 2 will be hindered but I am ok with that.
Hopefully this blog with give me an outlet for all of my thoughts and a place to keep me honest on my weight loss goals. Hopefully I can keep it updated!