And now we wait...

Today I had my check-up with my doctor. Before I saw her I was really expecting for her to say everything looks great and you can start trying for a baby again. At most I was expecting her to say lets wait a month before you go back on the meds. Well that isn't what I heard. Physically right now everything is ok. I have healed from my procedure.

Whenever a D&C is done pathology is done on the tissue that they remove from your body. This helps you and your doctor determine what caused the miscarriage so that if it is something preventable or something you can't avoid then you know. 20% of all pregnancies end in a miscarriage. A lot of women have them. To be honest as much timing as it takes to get pregnant and as many problems as there are I cannot believe how many teen pregnancies there are. But that is beside the point.

The pathology returned that I had a molar pregnancy. What that means is there was too much genetic material from either Jason or I. There are two types a complete molar pregnancy is when a sperm fertilizes an empty egg. A partial molar pregnancy is when two sperm fertilize an egg. So in the end a mass grows in your uterus but can never grow into a fetus.

Now for the scary part, even though I had the D&C there is no guarantee that all of the cells from the molar mass are gone. I have to go back for blood work once a month for the next three months. If there are still cells from the molar mass then my body will think it is pregnant and all the mass to grow. At this point it becomes  trophoblastic disease. There is a 20% chance that it can turn into that and a small chance that it can turn into cancer. If it grows back I will have to chemotherapy even if it never turns into cancer. The thing that scares me more then anything is what this will do to our chances to have a baby. I am also worried about the effect chemo will have on my daily life. Jason keeps telling me not to worry about it our be scared about something that we don't know about yet. My doctor took a pregnancy test today and it was negative which is good but if there are cells and they grow more then that might change.

Now for the sad part. Jason and I have to wait 3 months for the all clear to start trying again. On one hand after 3 years what is another 3 months and on the other hand after 3 years now we have to wait 3 more months.

I feel like Jason and I cannot catch a break. It is one thing after another after another with trying to have a baby. Jason and I are very lucky with the rest of our lives. Everything else is going great I just want this last thing to complete our lives. I keep reminding myself that God has a reason for all of this even if I am still not sure what it is.

We are asking for prayers over the new few months while we wait for the all clear. Thank you to all of you that have stood by us and helped us through this. We could not do it without yall!